#so i assume its a thing you can do. ok......
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Nah because i would FLORISH being an independent in affini society
Like first off, im not isolated immediately that brings me up by like 45% like i can go see that forest, hang out with the (hopefully not going to bite me or give me rabies) animals pet some squirrels say hi to the hummingbirds, i can go into public and walk around, id honestly probably start skipping bc thats what ive imagined so far considering i wouldnt be as depressed as i am now
Secondly, FULL customization of what i wear just be able to look how i want without fear, probably wear my denim look but with some extra like, an ACTUAL denim skirt that looks nice, maybe makeup if i was feeling up to it
Thirdly, just exploration. This is pretty much the miscellaneous second of this post. Because theres probably no money (i assume i need to do more research) before i get to that i fuckin love research i would know every fuckin affini custom by year 5, anyway because of presumeably no money, fake shop at the mall bc hell yeah fuckin love the mall its like a mini city, youd go in like you were going to the mall and like fake "check out" with like a fake credit card or something and yahh fun but also id just like go get coffee, possibly some matcha, skip around town wearing heels WITH my denim outfit, looking all fuckin cute, go see the plants (not affini like houseplants like mint) fuck id grow some bleeding hearts, some mint, make sure to pick up plant food, bc even tho i CAN do it in the hab unit, its more fun leaving to pick stuff up, it gives you a sense of accomplishment like "yahhhh i did something today 🥰 (its a crime theres no 'fist pump' emoji, i swear there are more useless emojis than practical ones)" and because i wouldnt be in one location for 6+ hours a day (excluding sleep) i would have time to do things that i WANNA do, like finish that pokemon book that im only on kakuna out of pecharunt. And i could drink my coffee/tea and go to the game store and play magic with peoples or pokemon, i could go play some dnd, write my damn books, skip around in heels bc skipping is happy but i wanna wear heels soo yahhhh
Yeah i may occassionally get harrassed but like if im polite and express boundries im sure theyll leave me alone or at least relatively along
By the way im going based off of the two stories ive read so far aight, so if this is very biased aight. Too bad i need to read more. But also like, i can express myself two 2 stories ok? Like a girl can fantasize anyway back my fantasy
Eventually id want an affini to adopt me but like, god id be pretty happy without drugs theyd need to actively make my life miserable to make me want the drugs, like, damn. Also with the number of times im cursing in this post any and all affini rp blogs are gonna be like "stop fucking cursing little indie" and to be fair i dont like cursing at people the only time i do is when im expressing myself or am pissed off i never call anyone curse words because its mean and i dont like being mean 🥺
Uhh and i think thats all my thoughts god i had Sadistic glee read the bonus chapters of hdg a bit ago anyway gotta gp finish those, then go finish the other one that im halfway through then go read more, if anyone has any not emotionally wrecking stories feel free to send them via asks or something like i dont wanna see characters despairing but i dont mind seeing their personality erased, as long as the struggle isnt super visible or is minimal
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my adam playlist is about 20 songs now, so im gonna post it even though it is still a WORK IN PROGRESS!!!! ill add onto it when i wanna ofc, but i just wanna share a lil bit of my visionnn <3 expect a lot of linkin park lmao
some songs might not show up on the tumblr preview so i highly recommend going to the actual playlist if you have spotify!!
and batuta din moldova is there too cuz why not
below is a few categories and explanations for most songs!!!
ANGSTY SHIT
songs I thought either the lyrics or vibe had something to do with his angst... usually has to do with his background, during the trap, after the trap (whether he survived or not), or just headcanons :P
1. paper cuts - nirvana
"my whole existence is for your amusement", "why do they not try to escape?"
i THINK this song is about this dude who is like, in a really shitty kidnapping situation.... or something idk don't quote me on that :P it gives off the vibe of how it must've felt being in the bathroom all alone :( waiting for his boyfriend to save him :(
2. pictures of me - elliot smith
"you'll be the victim of your own dirty tricks", "i'm not surprised at all and really, why should i be?", "so sick and tired of all these pictures of me")
i like the whole pictures tie in.. the song isn't rlly about this, but some lyrics seem like how he would feel about being in a trap. like "I'm not surprised jigsaw chose me for this, my life is shit!!" ofc that would be if he knew who jigsaw was beforehand....... self deprecating shit yknow
3. given up - linkin park
"stuck in my head again//feels like i'll never leave this place//there's no escape", "thought i was focused, but I'm scared//i'm not prepared", "i hyperventilate//looking for help somehow, somewhere//and no one cares"
OK so first quote from this that I chose is like, how he sees his life as some useless "live to die" type thing, then the next quotes are how he realizes that he REALLY doesn't wanna die at the end of the trap. despite his whole "my life is shit I hate my job yadda yadda" talk, he still begs for his life once it's really in danger!!!
4. black heart - stone temple pilots w/ chester benningtion
"rescue me//(If you don't mind)"
lawrence......rescue this bitch....... ok but this song is mostly vibes, it can have angsty vibes :P
5. go with the flow - queens of the stone age
"she said, "i'll throw myself away//they're just photos after all", "i can't make you hang around//i can't wash you off my skin"
MORE PHOTO STUFF!!!!!! love it when it all ties in......... for the second quote its kind of a chainshipping thing... i cant make you hang around, adam goin "don't leave me!!!!" and i cant wash you off my skin, lawrence left his frickin bloody handprint on adams face.... oughh
6. and one - linkin park
"left all alone//far from my home//no one to hear me, to heal my ill heart", "it's too late to love me now//you don't even know me"
this song just generally gives angsty adam vibes, but the second quote is TOTALLY CHAINSHIPPING..... like they literally just met but already have such a connection since they went thru all that SHIT. but uh its too late for them to live a happy normal life together cuz lawrence never came back womp womp!! i can see adam sitting there waiting like "he don't even know me why tf would he come backk"
VIBES/STUFF HE'D LIKE
whether its based off of whatever tf he was listening to in his headphones that one time, or just based off of the time... i think his music taste would generally be pretty vast, while still staying around nu metal and alternative rock
1. one step closer, papercut, don't stay - linkin park
its 2001, hybrid theory has been release and is already fairly popular, i'd assume :P plus I think he'd favor linkin park since they've got a lot of complexity, as opposed to some mindless nu metal around that time
2. guns (are for pussies), down - 311
AGAIN with the rap x rock wtf!!!! he also like, cares about politics and probably trash talks all those gun loving dummies
3. brain stew - green day
who tf doesnt like this song... but it is about rotting in your room and he probably does that often <3
4. break stuff - limp bizkit
DO I HAVE TO SAY WHY I PUT THIS ONE???? ITS BREAK STUFF LIMP BIZKIT COME ON!!!!
5. the fear (flipped) - the shins
honestly have no idea why, but its giving adam!!! dunno what the song is about, but i glanced at the lyrics mentioned a bong and i was like "haha adam smokes weed"
6. tired of sex - weezer
he would like pinkerton, but i kinda only like this song off of it :P i don't listen to much weezer
7. blister in the sun, kiss off - violent femmes
i kinda just wanted to add in the acoustic sounding shit, but i do think adam would listen to violent femmes!! and you should too!!!
8. break it to me - muse
have y'all noticed that he kinda lied a lot during the trap? sure he isn't a good liar, but he seems like he's cool with lying for whatever reason... i just kinda picked this one cuz i needed to add some muse and the song kinda says shit about lying and stuff idk!!
CHAINSHIPPING SHIT
other than the angsty chainshipping in the "angsty shit" category, these just have cutesy lil lawrence x adam stuff <3 sorry to SHOVE chainshipping down your throat but whatever love is love
1. add it up - violent femmes
not specifying which lyric even though there IS one, i'm just embarrassed to say <3 but uh the only thing stopping them from making out sloppy style on top of john kramer was their chains :P
again, i WILL be adding more to this :3 but here's just my thoughts for now. im TOTES not just projecting my music taste onto adam hahahahhhhahahhahahhhaaa he's just so ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry if none of this makes sense!!!
#spotify#saw#saw 2004#adam saw#sawtism#adam stanheight#adam faulkner stanheight#adam faulkner#chainshipping#playlist#saw playlist#headcanons#CHECK IT OUT!!!#wip
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played a bit more psychonauts (i just wanted to finish the level i was on bit like. its fun so i ended up walking around on the campgrounds some more) and. i now have been witness to the kind of jokes that make me go “ahhh a game of the 2000s”
#it was a fat joke and the. main characters name is raz. theres a word that rhymes with that huh. it sucks a bit#just back to back...#theres been some other stuff thats made me 🤨design wise and another character i just dont think is that funny#but its been fine mostly. i expected this after all#its something i knew going in obv & that i think the sequel improves on (what with being from 2022 and not 2006)#on a lighter note. the kids are all fun so far (exception mentioned above aside) and i really like the band kids.#theres a lot of dialogue you can hear by just standing nearby... theyre good friends and make music together : )#one of them mentioned a nightmare which makes me curious raz mentioned reading about going into those earlier#so i assume its a thing you can do. ok......#im sleeping now#rosa talk
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hey guys! just dropped him to say that charles xavier is a screamer in bed wait what who said that omg!!!
obligatory mention of charles xavier's soundproofed walls is Obligatory
#nsft#snap chats#DIABOLICAL#it is THREE AM ANON. perfect time for debauchery tbh vjLKAJVVKJ#stop cause. whoever gets me the issue where erik says this ill give you like. idk whatever my mortal hands can provide with an art tablet#who got the issue where eriks by a fireplace Im Pretty Sure and hes just 'yeah charles and i have. Our Moments. Being Loud'#paraphrasing for my life but its that in essence yeah Who Has That. utterly mental thing to say out of context#like i assume he means them arguing but who says it cant be both. at the same time even. curious.....#'oh yeah charles loves his soundproof walls I However am built significantly different' ok so what are you saying then erik#do i gotta start making accusations about. chat we gotta cap it there jvLVKJKLJV#three am has me now contemplating many things... one of which is how vocal mr lehnsherr is i GOTTAAAAA go to bed#the second one bein if he gaf if people hear ..... chat im posting one more thing then im sleeping you will forgive me
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
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HEY DIDU GET A LOT OF VOTING MAIL?
this is what the ACTUAL absentee ballot envelope looks like if you've been waiting for it and aren't sure if it's in the pile of other shit they send out!!!
it will have this logo on it and also specify that it is "official absentee balloting material"
every 'official' looking piece of mail i got for weeks i thought would be it and wasn't, my ballot was returned to the city clerk office so i went in and picked up a new one in person
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YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!! i am holding your hand, i am prepping a blanket fort for you to crawl into and hide once you get back, it's ok, we can do this<3
IF YOU'RE MISSING YOUR BALLOT, check vote dot org, or, just google your city/town and 'election office' or 'municipal clerk', you can go in and let them know you don't have your ballot yet and would like to cancel what they sent out and pick up a new one in person, you may even be able to just fill it out there and hand it back to them all in one trip!
i'll rebagel with some links i can get a better pic also if anyone needs sorry i was just sending it to the gc but then decided to also post ;w;'
#remembering now i saw another post that had this logo on it#but id forgotten OTL#im not sure if the envelope may look a little different if its actually Mailed and not Handed over the counter but prob just addresses#vote#just me#fucking FINALLY have this thing it was expected the FIRST WEEK OF OCT#i dont want to go up there a Third time but i refuse to just mail it back i dont trust it i am Handing this to a physical person#dont be complacent- remember hillary was 'so far ahead she doesnt think about trump' IDC WHAT THE STATS LOOK LIKE RN#we need to assume that Every asshole and racist and malicious bastard out there who can vote are going to because they Will#because its just another day to them just another act of bigotry whereas anyone with a#conscience is having a fucking nightmare of a time about it AND THATS OK me too bud but thats why we gota do it<3#a lesser evil is still less evil#pick the one that wont make it even More impossible to ever be able to get ranked choice voting so we dont *have* to pick between evils#we can pick good#but rn we just have to pick as good as is possible to Get there#im doing it you can too<3#there are so many step by step posts out there and vote.org really does make it ez but if you got any questions lmk#anon asks are on u can message u can email whatever lol idc if u need help to get this done i will do my damndest
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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Having finally been driven to blacklisting content, I'd like to take this moment to say that no annoying/overexposed/boring/formulaic/etc. musician will ever be as irritating to me as their fans and their haters are.
#let us all shut up more often & more vigorously#especially about the artistic virtues & vices of strangers whose lives affect us not at all#amen#just go about your business in peace#also why is this something that happens to me so often#so many musicians I could do without attract the most devoted evangelists#for example#perhaps I could have learned to like Nick Cave#but I will never know because too many Cave-ites were constantly trying to ram him into my ears at every turn#and eventually I rebelled on principle because so many annoying people were trying to make me do the same thing#there are very few people with whom I want to have in-depth conversations about music#as someone who does not press music upon others#I don't understand this behavior#if you like the music I am playing#presumably you will ask about it#if you hate it#I assume you'll let me know#that's good enough for me#also if you hate the music I'm playing & say so#I will not start crying about how the music is actually great & the musician is secretly the messiah#I will play something else that we can both enjoy#I am OK with you not liking my music#I can blast it for myself when you are not around
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i get the frustration with so many villains now getting treatment like “oh they had a sucky childhood so actually you need to feel bad for them and not hold them accountable for their actions” but the counter of “this person was born evil and cant ever grow and its pathetic to assume that they can, also people cant be redeemed no matter what and this is fantastic writing actually” is so exhausting.
#like... no one is born grinning maliciously with a knife out the womb. no one starts out that way#and anything thats ever tried to portray a character that way at birth has only ever been ironically funny#idk its annoying when people are like ''actually its more interesting that the character doesnt have a motive for killing people''#like. coming off of bullet train rn but even ''this character otherwise has a perfect life but they accidentally killed and now theyre#fascinated with all the ways people can die'' is more interesting than ''idk thats just how they are *shrugs*''#like yes someone can have the perfect upbringing and social life and still turn out to be sadistic but you can still work with that#as opposed to ''they were born evil thats just how they were always gonna be SORRY''#like. idk go into that ''perfect social life and family''. what did that family value? what were the friends like?#what did that person experience outside of those things? what did they consume?#did their social standing actually breed some sort of entitlement to them? do they perhaps freak out if something doesnt go their way?#are they insecure deep down? does that drive them to it? are they a perfectionist? do they assume peoples feelings?#i remember reading this wc fancomic that explained why a character was evil and like her mom died#and the attention from her mothers death made her obsessed with being fawned over so she started medical abuse#and letting her patients die so that people would fawn over her the same way every time#and the op was like ''HEY before you yell at me shes NOT evil bc her mom died ok she was gonna turn out evil no matter what''#like... no no go into the emotional vulnerability implied there. go into the morbid introduction to slow death at a young age#go into the potential desensitization go into that. youre already willing to make her multifauceted and with positive traits#why are you afraid of implying shes even SOMEWHAT sympathetic and just want to say she was gonna do that regardless#and i fault the atmosphere around this stuff most of all like we should never have implied that giving a villain a reason to be evil#was stupid woobifying bullshit that was out of touch with reality#echoed voice
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HELLO MAYBE DO NOT GLORIFY THE GDR JUST BECAUSE THE USA SUCK
#i dont like interacting with posts that do shit like that bc i dont like fighting#but hey remember you can like some parts of what it did politically#without denying the FACT that it was a horrific government that practically imprisoned and tortured its subjects regularly#i'll assume ignorance and will ask you#go to one GDR ex-jail and then tell me this is something worth defending.#i know people personally who lived through it. heard their good and bad about it.#know people who smuggled others across the border to the BRD#saw the prisons laid out for torture and to break a person#dont you dare say shit about how the usa has that too#it does not matter. comparisons are nothing when a state does these things.#fucking hell read a history book.#basil yells at cloud#ok to rb#just. why are you so hellbent on making it black and white when it is not
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came to the startling realization just now that there are people who actually think light was totally fine and all his evilness came from the death note. ermmm. loud incorrect buzzer
#i definitely agree that the death note's power probably made him worse. but he was bad before that guys....#i mean i guess i cant totally get mad at those people since the yotsuba arc does show us a light w/o memories of being kira who is like.#pretty ok and is like n-no i could never be kira!!1! :(( so i could see how someone who isnt reading too deep into it could think that#but like. as far as i can recall we dont get tooooo much of light's inner thoughts during that time#so honestly you could totally assume for a lot of moments that he's just doing his thing hes ALWAYS done of pretending to be nice/''normal'#its hard to say. but i really doubt that light was totally good beforehand is whats supposed to be intended LOL#esp since like. he came up w the new world thing IMMEDIATELY after getting the death note#we know he was thinking about stuff like that beforehand. we can argue about semantics of how much of light's corruption is from the note#itself but you are not gonna sit here and tell me that just touching it instantly makes you evil. cmon now thats just not true#he sucks with or without the death note. it just gave him a tool to enact his suckery. it enabled him#serena.txt#death note posting#also i saw someone claim that the author said somewhere that L didnt mean his statement about light being his one true friend#LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. sorry buddy you never said that in the text itself and wrote shit that very much indicates otherwise so you're not#allowed to say that after the fact. death of the author + the final arc you wrote was bad + you're homophobic so why would i even listen to#you + L + ratio#L viewed light as his friend. sorry!
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"Lol, your d+d group made you be the cleric?"
You don't want to roleplay someone who thinks she's her deity's favorite prophet? Who won't admit why she was kicked out of the clergy? Who's a little too happy to see her teammates grievously injured so she can show off her healing powers? She's my best blorba yet
#I mean I tried to make her a boring support/healer but everyone else immediately said 'I like how you're breaking the 'good cleric'#stereotype. she's so creepy it's really funny' and I was like damn am I that bad at playing a good guy. Ok then corruption arc here we go#If this was a different and longer campaign I'd have her become a necromancer but this is almost over so best I can do is she has a crush o#the evil paladin. And keeps accidentally saying very mean things to everyone she meets#asdfkjl just remembered her basically implying 'i assume the mother left you' and 'it's not really your kid is it?'#while healing this single father who'd been shot lmao#...anyway. if you think clerics arent fun its a skill issue
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grbrggbfrgbbffbrg
#wl26#hrng#feeling cute might never talk to anyone ever again#why do i alllllways say the wrong thing#or idk#one moment i have this one image of the world#and i think doing things in a certain way is correct#then i learn that apparently its wrong and you should communicate if youre unhappy about something#ans so i apply that to my life onward#and then like im sorry this happened but maybe next time tell me youre not ok with this#only to then be told that i shouldve known#and i guess i should have#but i didnt#because assuming is also wrong#because not everything is about me#so is there no way of doing anything right or am i just an asshole and a loser with memory so bad i cant recall what happened last week#did happen? did i just think about doing or saying it so hard that my brain registered it as a real action?#who fucking knows man#im so tired#i dont know#is there something wrong with me or am i jusy a jerk#am i just faking the whole neurodivergent shit so that i can make excuses for myself when someone gets hurt#is that all it is
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